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Satanic Rites 3
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Satanic Rites - Issue 3 (1992-11-24)(Destiny).adf
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gollum
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gollum
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1990-01-05
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6KB
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111 lines
}0nf78
{fThings you never wanted to know {eSR:{a What's your favourite coloured
{f about.... {a light-bulb?
{m Gollum/Damage Uk {eGollum:{a White
by Tango/Destiny & Microlite/Damage Uk
{eSR:{a Why?
{eName:{a Stuart Davil (Devil?) Hyde
{eGollum:{a Because it works (this man is
{eD.O.B: {a 11/12/75 - also the release a wanker!)
date of Gollum's latest `warez'.
{eSR:{a Which colour power light do you
{eSR:{a {aWhat's the most stupid thing ever prefer on your Amiga (red or green?):
done apart from join Damage Uk?
{eGollum:{a Red
{eGollum:{a {a Make friends with Scorpian.
{eSR:{a Any particular reason for this
{eSR:{a {aWhat's the best thing you've ever weird choice?
done apart from join Damage Uk?
{eGollum:{a 'Cause red makes me horny
{eGollum:{a {a Get thrown out of Destiny or
buy an Amiga. {eSR:{a Best ever copy party:
Gollum:{a {cDigital - The Main Event{a {eSR:{a What is the best Nabisco breakfast
cereal for recording your favourite
{eSR:{a {aWas this decision made because you music on to?
happened to meet {mHornet{a down there?
{eGollum:{a Weetadust
{eGollum:{a{a Yes
{eSR:{a What's your kewlest war-cry?:
{eSR:{a {aWhat's the best TV remote control
ever made: {eGollum:{a WAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH MUMMY!
{eGollum:{a {a Akai (sodding Japs again!) {e SR:{a On average, how long per year do
you let your fingernails grow?
{eSR:{a {aFavourite Egypytian dance?
{eGollum:{a 2.5m on a bad day.
{eGollum:{a{a No sax please we're Egyptian.
{eSR:{a What colour is your pubic hair?
{eSR:{a {a What is the best tape brand that
you like eating for your lunch? {eGollum:{a {mWhat's pubic hair?{a
{eGollum:{a{a Memorex
{eSR:{a {a Have you ever bitten into a{e SR:{a What is the worst ciggie brand
6,000,000V electricity cable? ever?
{eGollum:{a {a Yes, once every Saturday, it {eGollum:{a Benson & Hedges Special Filter
saves on a vibro.
{eSR:{a How small is your dick?
{eSR:{a {aFave non-alcholoic substance?
{eGollum:{a What dick? Where?
{eGollum:{a{a Urine
{eSR:{a Why do you find looking at a Coke
{eSR:{a {a How many bottles of this does it can gets you to orgasm point?
take you to get pissed?
{eGollum:{a It's red.
{eGollum:{a{a 200mm tops
{eSR:{a Even the silver bits?
{eSR:{a {a Have you ever made photocopies of
your arsehole (Microlite wants to know {eGollum:{a I'm colourblind
if it works)?
{eSR:{a Have you ever participated in a
{eGollum:{a{a Yes, and sometimes I do a duet group sex session involving more than
with Prodigy, my lover. one hedgehog?
{eGollum:{a {a No butt my boyfriend has. {e Gollum:{a Orange in a month beginning
with a J, and Blue in a month beginning
{eSR:{a {aEver had the urge to paint an with A-Z.
Action Replay III, green and yellow?
{eSR:{a Have you ever tried hooking your
{eGollum:{a {a Yes, that's the colours of a knob up to a 600 Watt Stereo System so
bumble-bee isn't it? that you can get Carter USM playing out
your ears?
{eSR:{a {a What do you find so fascinating
about ramming a 3-litre bottle of diet {eGollum:{a Yes, I fused the plug.
lemonade up yer arsehole on a rainy
day? {eSR:{a As a young boy (15yrs old) did you
ever want to get into Noddy's pants?
{eGollum:{a{a It only costs 69p. and it's
cheaper than a rent-boy. {eGollum:{a How did you know? Only my
psychiatrist knows about that
{eSR:{a {aAre you still a virgin? particular fantasy.
{eGollum:{a{a To lasses: yes to lads: no. {e SR:{a Is it true you're a woofter?
{eSR:{a {a What is the colour of your {eGollum:{a Erm, erm, (victim goes bright
boyfriend's bell-end? red).
{eSR:{a {a Tim says you have a tatoo inside sandals...)
your foreskin, saying "I love Scorpion"
Could you verify this for us (we asked Look guys, much as I hate Gollum, don't
Prodigy to verify this one)? you think Satanic Rites should be
printing articles a little more
{eGollum:{a{a Falls silent. intelligent than this? -Ed.
{eSR:{a {a What is your best ever fantasy?
{eGollum:{a{a Being rescued by He-Man from
the clutches of the evil Skeletor, and
then he bummed me. It was fantastic.
{eSR:{a-{a Thank you Gollum for being so
"co-operative" in this most excellent
interview.
{eGollum:{a{a - You're welcome here's my
room number for the hotel I'm staying
at (slips small piece of paper into
Microlite's hand and skips off wearing
his Army & Navy duffle coat and leather